Here and There but mostly Here...

I've made quite a few changes in the way I conduct myself and in the various ways I present myself to those I meet. Every day still holds a surprise or two, but my defenses are strong against the majority of attempts to leech at my life. All in all, I'm satisfied.

In spite of this temporary change of character, I made what I would consider a good friend. Those of you who have spent any time with me know that I don't bandy with that word. Derek is in many respects my antithesis, but our individual strengths seemed to counteract any perceived weaknesses we would otherwise be advertising on the street. I can use my wits and long ago experiences to keep me out of trouble here, but that is in no way an equal replacement to having someone who has spent the majority of their almost 40 years dealing, running, and abusing drugs, robbing banks, and surviving amidst various cartels...as your wingman.

The street is a master magician. Before your very eyes, a cigarette denied slowly transforms into a concrete block dropped on your head as you sleep. That bag you're forced into leaving unguarded for the sake of a shower? KAZAAM! Sent away to a far off dimension...never to be seen again. It's the little things...

Most importantly, there are thousands here...hundreds I know personally...and I've only met two who want to move forward. Almost all of these people belong here, and a few of them even know it. He's tired of being a slave to crystal and the effect that has on the woman he loves, and I have too much inspiration to waste in this environment. A good team...

Today at 7am, I saw my friend off as he entered into a drug rehabilitation program. Life here will be more difficult without him, but I couldn't be happier that our efforts to get him admitted were not in vain. He said that I'd helped him abstain, but we both knew it was only a matter of time as the Cubans hawk their wares only a few blocks away.

I'm still doing everything I can, while maintaining my character, to make it. Jobs are few and far between, but this too is simply a matter of time.

Anger

If I meet someone new and they offer advice...

I'll not take it. I'll not ingest and process the information in hopes of possibly coming to a more beneficial outcome for myself or another. I'll not listen. I'll not even look them in the eye.

However, I'll be more than happy to cut their throat as they sleep...

Cheers!

An Intricate Dance

Two steps backward; a mile forward...

It turned out that the "work opportunity" I pursued was a scam setup by an adept entrepreneur who saw an opportunity for himself among the homeless community. Our days would begin at 3am at which time we would pile into a van headed for more financially secure neighborhoods. We would then be dropped off at various retail locations where we were instructed to beg until 6pm when the van would come again to take us to our group home. The nut was $280 a week in exchange for the barest of shelter and a single meal. Anything after that...and we were obliged to a hardly generous 30% cut. On arrival I met men who had been working with this organization upward of eight years. This fact alone told me one of either two possibilities was truth: "Building a Solid Foundation" was a well organized non-profit which treated its guests fairly, or it kept them ever so lacking in hope that they feared leaving to pursue the unknown. After only my first day, I was able to discern that the latter was the case. Instead of the advertised homeless recovery program it was actually a system designed to promote perpetual homelessness. In fact, I was so troubled by my lot that upon arriving for my second day of work, I immediately started vomiting uncontrollably after my first donation. My pride was in peril, and I couldn't suffer my part in this deception. I made a phone call, waited the 15 hours for my 40 minute drive back to San Diego, packed my bag, and dove into the arms of my rescuer. Thank you Kricket...<3

It was my good fortune over the first days in San Diego that set me up for this situation. My cynicism had in turn been dulled cultivating a carelessness in a world that would not permit such a weakness. Evolution's a bitch...

I've spent the last 3 nights with my best friend, and it's done me a world of good. I've been able to meditate on my situation in peace and comfort, and I intend to return to the streets today with a proper balance of mind. I had a very successful interview today with the owner of a new, upscale restaurant opening soon in North Park (a neighborhood close to downtown), and I've made some new connections which may lead to work soon if that falls through.

This is not a complete update on my situation as I have so much more to share concerning some thoughts I've dwelt on these few days, but it will have to suffice for the moment. Until then...

Kricket - I love you. You're my rock...

Joe - For the first time in my life, I find "family" to be an asset rather than a liability. Thank you for everything...

Grace - The place in my heart that is yours is where I go when I need to smile. As of late, I find myself there very often.

Too Easy...?

February 25 - February 27
3 Days
"310 Miles to San Diego"

Sleeping: Little to none, Street Side
Eating: None
Income: None

Comments: There was simply no way around this. I had to reach SD.


February 28 - March 3
4 Days
"Exploration"

Sleeping: 6 Hours, Street Side
Eating: Low Quality, High Quanity
Income: Very Low

Comments: I'd always wondered how the homeless could be so awfully fat, and I now have my answer; there are soup kitchens aplenty in San Diego. You can spend an entire day eating...without stopping. I spent this time discerning the who's who of the street and networking with staff from the various eateries and churches. Two days of collecting cans and bottles gave me enough to finance an import project involving Mexico.


March 4 - March 6
3 Days
"Comfort"

Sleeping: 8 Hours, Indoor Cot
Eating: Mid Quality, High Quantity
Income: Low

Comments: There's a popular outreach here that's taken me under its wing. It supposedly takes a few months to get inside, but it's amazing what a little Dale Carnegie magic will do in these situations. A vote from "all" the brothers is required; I'm an atheist. Hmm...
Let the old man talk Biblical interpretation, the night manager nutrition, and the 24 year old pimply brother about World of Warcraft until his tongue bleeds...apparently that's the recipe for being considered awesome in their book. :P

This is also where things started to become tricky. I'm "comfortable". I can eat and sleep to my heart's content. I almost considered stopping here for a rest...but why?!?


March 7 -
"Unknown"

Sleeping: 8 Hours, Bed
Eating: High Quality, High Quantity
Income: Low

Comments: I've found a work exchange position that will provide me with room, board, and a percentage of the profits. I have to move about 5 minutes from Downtown, but that's a small sacrifice at the moment. I'll let you know how this turns...

All in all...8 days is the amount of time it takes to regain your footing in San Diego. Easier than I would have ever guessed. :D

The Simple Life...

The most successful way to assure a progressive direction in life? Start at the bottom...

Without a penny to my name...
Without a friend 'by my side'...
Without a plan for my future...

...I made my way to San Diego carrying my possessions on my back.

This city has provided me with everything I need. Food and places to rest are in abundance. No one has needed to bother me as there has always been much easier prey found elsewhere. I've stopped looking for work, and I've created my own work. There's money to be made on the street; that is, if you're smarter than your average crackwhore. My days are spent hustling, eating, sleeping, reading, and working out.

2009 was hardly kind to me as I spent a year working a thankless job without pay. My health suffered greatly. However, my vitality is now returning with a vengeance. I'll be using this blog frequently to keep those who care updated.

Most importantly, I've realized how few friends I actually have. In some cases...the friendship itself is real, but the disparity is high. There are maybe 5 of you who have my faith. Thank you...