In Closing...

This adventure has come to an end; it's over.

I have a job (and a second soon), I have a place, and I have a pretty sweet social life...

Sadly, I can take little happiness from this journey as, in as little as a year, I'll barely be able to remember a single detail...and no one was there to see. I'm noticing this more and more often in my life. Is there a limit to the adventures the mind can store?

:/

Work, Travel, and Rawr!

I started training at my new job this last Thursday, and let me say...it feels SO good to be working again. The people I'm working with, all beautiful by the way, are incredibly friendly and fun. That's what it's all about, right? Well...and the $30 in crazy coffee drinks I can now consume daily at no charge. Now, I simply need to survive until that first paycheck. ;)

Before my first day of work began, I took a trip to San Luis Obispo for four nights. Can we say culture shock? On arrival everything was so fantastically surreal. I had only been away from "home" for a few months, but it felt as if it had been infinitely longer. A bed...good food...and great friends. Thank you Jarred, Johnny, Laura, and Chelsea (yeah, even you) for everything.

During my stay, I was also lucky enough to connect with someone who really made the weekend memorable. I may have to make that trip more often...

So...all in all...know that my life is good.

A new chapter?

Life is good...

Work

I had spent six hours, from 5am until 11am, every morning sending e-mail responses to various Craigslist ads seeking employment. Six weeks...at thirty or more applications each day...and I had only two interviews to show for it. Both interviews ended with that same dreadful word popping up over and over again..."overqualified". This is perhaps the most frustrating word in the English language! I use Starbucks as my primary internet source, and it has a dreadful habit of kicking me offline frequently! One morning, while relogging for the third time, I noticed the "careers" link at the bottom of the Starbucks home page. What the Hell, right? Within a day they called me; I interviewed as a potential barista on Monday; Tuesday she offered me a management position starting on the 19th. Sure, I'm capable of more than this, but THIS is exactly the type of employment I want in my life for the here and now. I've other goals in mind over this next year, and work, although absolutely necessary, is only the smallest part of it all.

Social

It was so nice to spend Easter with Kricket and Laurel. Lamb, organic chocolates, yummy cookies (compliments of the Laurel), and great wine were apparently exactly the release I needed. Life on the street is becoming more difficult as people warm up to me. In the first days, I would easily be able to fend off those who would befriend me and waste my time with chatter filled with conspiracy theory, negativity, and filth. Once I started selling cigarettes, my face and name became well known, but I was still able to manage some semblance of privacy. However, since the fight, I've developed somewhat of a homeless entourage. You should hear them tell it; the ones who weren't even there! Lol...it's like those horribly awesome $3 martial arts movies my old friend Ben and I would watch as teenagers. The women are by far the worst! Who wants to carry the trophy for being the most eligible bachelor on the block among a bunch of old, nasty crackheads?!? I feel sick just thinking about it sometimes. I miss the normalcy of an average woman. I can't wait for the day when I'm once again in a position to be teased, led on, and used by someone whose hair smells oh so nice. :P

Health

The most prominent of those goals I mentioned earlier involves my health. Two weeks ago, I signed up for a membership at 24 hour fitness. The clean showers, the locker to store my bag during an interview, a place to go when it rains at a cost of $25 a month...it all made such perfect fiscal sense. I had no idea I would become so addicted to working out. In these seven weeks, thanks to an overabundant supply of food services in San Diego, I've added more than 30lbs to my weight. From 120 to 151...it's incredible. What it's done for my sanity is beyond words. With every rejection for employment...with every pointless conflict engaged on the street...I found myself with too many goals that depended on the actions or reactions of another. This was a goal I could set for myself, and God himself couldn't stop me from accomplishing it. No matter what happened, I could move forward in this. Control...that's exactly what it's given me.

All in all, my life has become something good again.

Thanks again to all of you who have supported me with your friendship. Luvluvluvluv...

Here and There but mostly Here...

I've made quite a few changes in the way I conduct myself and in the various ways I present myself to those I meet. Every day still holds a surprise or two, but my defenses are strong against the majority of attempts to leech at my life. All in all, I'm satisfied.

In spite of this temporary change of character, I made what I would consider a good friend. Those of you who have spent any time with me know that I don't bandy with that word. Derek is in many respects my antithesis, but our individual strengths seemed to counteract any perceived weaknesses we would otherwise be advertising on the street. I can use my wits and long ago experiences to keep me out of trouble here, but that is in no way an equal replacement to having someone who has spent the majority of their almost 40 years dealing, running, and abusing drugs, robbing banks, and surviving amidst various cartels...as your wingman.

The street is a master magician. Before your very eyes, a cigarette denied slowly transforms into a concrete block dropped on your head as you sleep. That bag you're forced into leaving unguarded for the sake of a shower? KAZAAM! Sent away to a far off dimension...never to be seen again. It's the little things...

Most importantly, there are thousands here...hundreds I know personally...and I've only met two who want to move forward. Almost all of these people belong here, and a few of them even know it. He's tired of being a slave to crystal and the effect that has on the woman he loves, and I have too much inspiration to waste in this environment. A good team...

Today at 7am, I saw my friend off as he entered into a drug rehabilitation program. Life here will be more difficult without him, but I couldn't be happier that our efforts to get him admitted were not in vain. He said that I'd helped him abstain, but we both knew it was only a matter of time as the Cubans hawk their wares only a few blocks away.

I'm still doing everything I can, while maintaining my character, to make it. Jobs are few and far between, but this too is simply a matter of time.

Anger

If I meet someone new and they offer advice...

I'll not take it. I'll not ingest and process the information in hopes of possibly coming to a more beneficial outcome for myself or another. I'll not listen. I'll not even look them in the eye.

However, I'll be more than happy to cut their throat as they sleep...

Cheers!

An Intricate Dance

Two steps backward; a mile forward...

It turned out that the "work opportunity" I pursued was a scam setup by an adept entrepreneur who saw an opportunity for himself among the homeless community. Our days would begin at 3am at which time we would pile into a van headed for more financially secure neighborhoods. We would then be dropped off at various retail locations where we were instructed to beg until 6pm when the van would come again to take us to our group home. The nut was $280 a week in exchange for the barest of shelter and a single meal. Anything after that...and we were obliged to a hardly generous 30% cut. On arrival I met men who had been working with this organization upward of eight years. This fact alone told me one of either two possibilities was truth: "Building a Solid Foundation" was a well organized non-profit which treated its guests fairly, or it kept them ever so lacking in hope that they feared leaving to pursue the unknown. After only my first day, I was able to discern that the latter was the case. Instead of the advertised homeless recovery program it was actually a system designed to promote perpetual homelessness. In fact, I was so troubled by my lot that upon arriving for my second day of work, I immediately started vomiting uncontrollably after my first donation. My pride was in peril, and I couldn't suffer my part in this deception. I made a phone call, waited the 15 hours for my 40 minute drive back to San Diego, packed my bag, and dove into the arms of my rescuer. Thank you Kricket...<3

It was my good fortune over the first days in San Diego that set me up for this situation. My cynicism had in turn been dulled cultivating a carelessness in a world that would not permit such a weakness. Evolution's a bitch...

I've spent the last 3 nights with my best friend, and it's done me a world of good. I've been able to meditate on my situation in peace and comfort, and I intend to return to the streets today with a proper balance of mind. I had a very successful interview today with the owner of a new, upscale restaurant opening soon in North Park (a neighborhood close to downtown), and I've made some new connections which may lead to work soon if that falls through.

This is not a complete update on my situation as I have so much more to share concerning some thoughts I've dwelt on these few days, but it will have to suffice for the moment. Until then...

Kricket - I love you. You're my rock...

Joe - For the first time in my life, I find "family" to be an asset rather than a liability. Thank you for everything...

Grace - The place in my heart that is yours is where I go when I need to smile. As of late, I find myself there very often.

Too Easy...?

February 25 - February 27
3 Days
"310 Miles to San Diego"

Sleeping: Little to none, Street Side
Eating: None
Income: None

Comments: There was simply no way around this. I had to reach SD.


February 28 - March 3
4 Days
"Exploration"

Sleeping: 6 Hours, Street Side
Eating: Low Quality, High Quanity
Income: Very Low

Comments: I'd always wondered how the homeless could be so awfully fat, and I now have my answer; there are soup kitchens aplenty in San Diego. You can spend an entire day eating...without stopping. I spent this time discerning the who's who of the street and networking with staff from the various eateries and churches. Two days of collecting cans and bottles gave me enough to finance an import project involving Mexico.


March 4 - March 6
3 Days
"Comfort"

Sleeping: 8 Hours, Indoor Cot
Eating: Mid Quality, High Quantity
Income: Low

Comments: There's a popular outreach here that's taken me under its wing. It supposedly takes a few months to get inside, but it's amazing what a little Dale Carnegie magic will do in these situations. A vote from "all" the brothers is required; I'm an atheist. Hmm...
Let the old man talk Biblical interpretation, the night manager nutrition, and the 24 year old pimply brother about World of Warcraft until his tongue bleeds...apparently that's the recipe for being considered awesome in their book. :P

This is also where things started to become tricky. I'm "comfortable". I can eat and sleep to my heart's content. I almost considered stopping here for a rest...but why?!?


March 7 -
"Unknown"

Sleeping: 8 Hours, Bed
Eating: High Quality, High Quantity
Income: Low

Comments: I've found a work exchange position that will provide me with room, board, and a percentage of the profits. I have to move about 5 minutes from Downtown, but that's a small sacrifice at the moment. I'll let you know how this turns...

All in all...8 days is the amount of time it takes to regain your footing in San Diego. Easier than I would have ever guessed. :D